Finding your funny is essential to keeping your relationship healthy.
Here’s a little story. It has the potential to be painful or funny, depending. A few days ago, my cutie and I were heading out of town. We had taken a Thursday/Friday break, going off to see the changing leaves. As we were leaving town, there were a couple of errands to be run. I needed to go to the bank, and he needed to pick up his new glasses.
So, we stopped into our favorite Hamburger Joint and grabbed a burger, the mini-vacation had started!
After a great lunch, fun conversations with each other, the guys sitting near us, the server, lots of laughing and chatting, we left for our last stop, a bottle of wine for later, we were almost on the open road. As we are getting the wine, Michael realizes he couldn’t find his glasses. He basically unpacks and repacks the car, no glasses. “Ok, I must have left them at the restaurant.” So, back the way we had come. We get to the restaurant, Michael looks high and low, no glasses. Now we are really retracing our steps, both of us with our eyes glued to the side of the road. We had gone about a mile or so when, Michael says, “There they are!”
Ask Yourself These Questions if You Want a Healthy Relationship:
- What type of response would you have?
- How would your reaction to the situation help?
- How would your reaction impact your relationship?
- What focus would you want for the rest of your mini-vacation?
- And, what memories would you make?
There have been times in my life I would have lost it. I could have been really upset, glasses are expensive after all. I hate to spend money twice. Still, when looking back, I could have completely ruined the entire day with my general unhappiness about the situation. I also could have negatively impacted my relationship with Michael. Knowing him the way I do, I could already hear his internal negative narrative about this situation, I didn’t need to help him beat himself up. And, at that moment he needed my help to see that it was ok, cuz he hates spending money twice too. Within about 20 minutes he started laughing about it too. So, what would my bad attitude have served? We went on to have a fantastic 2 days of exploring Fall in the Pacific Northwest. Feeling connected, we had fun. Nothing about reality changed, I still needed a new license, and he still needed new glasses. We had a blast and created memories that will last a lifetime. The only thing we had control over was our attitude and our desire to have fun together. By adding a funny story to our couple story, it helps us never to stop laughing, which is key to a healthy relationship. The outcome was so much more to our liking.
I would LOVE to hear from YOU!
- What gets in the way of using humor to help your relationship(s)?
- Share a story about a time you used humor well and it helped your relationship.
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Lyssa deHart, LICSW, MCC is a Leadership Confidence and Whole Life Coach, and the author of StoryJacking: Change Your Inner Dialogue, Transform Your Life. Lyssa works with confidence challenged high achievers who are ready to rewrite the internal narratives that slow them down. Her clients include executives, senior leadership, and managers at organizations such as Amazon, Boeing, Microsoft, the US Military, as well as with creative writers, actors, and artists.
What fires her up is working with smart people to trust their brilliance and develop the courage and confidence to believe in themselves and the work that is their purpose. If you are interested in meeting to see if you could benefit from working together, let's have a coffee and a chat.