How many times in your life have you found yourself in the deep and murky waters of life? Have you ever had that feeling that you must paddle water in place and hope that life would change? These are the questions that start you on a journey with a kick to the seat of the pants. The moments in life where you find the rock and the hard place and the only choice you have is your attitude. Are you ready for something life changing?
“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” Every minute of every day, you are at a choice point. You can choose to sit and wallow, spinning circles around your concerns, or spiraling around the drain for that matter. Or you can make another choice, you can decide to start swimming.
Super Secret of the Universe – It will Change Your Life
In my book StoryJacking: Change Your Inner Dialogue | Transform Your Life, I wrote about the differences between wallowing and getting curious so you can find new pathways through your predicaments.
Who among us has never wallowed? We have all had the experience of getting spun out about an issue or situation. That’s just life. So, let me invite you to take any situation, particularly one in which you have a strong emotional attachment. It could be politics, equal rights, the environment, or anything. Now, consider how you behave when you feel like the idea or issue you value is being respected? You’re fine, right?
But, what if what you care about is being ignored or stomped on? It’s not a big stretch to imagine you easily find yourself spinning out of emotional control. “Why don’t people listen?” “The world is filled with idiots.” “What’s wrong with everyone?” You know the narrative, I am completely sure you have heard it inside your very own head at least once.
No one is immune from the seesaw of emotional responses… at least, that is, until you start to notice what you’re doing. You get so attached to your idea of what’s right, that when you don’t win, it can be overwhelming and frustrating. Losing an election, losing an argument, losing anything is a plot twist in your story. Maybe you’ve gotten attached to a particular ending. If you don’t like the twist, you may spin, or analyze, or obsess, or whatever you wish to call it. And I ask you, “What amount of energy does the spinning cost you?” “Who does that serve?” and “How has the spinning helped the situation?”
Ok, I want Life Changing!
You can navigate the plot twist’s and here are a few steps that can help you transform from spinning to doing something useful:
- Let go of the idea that you are right and everyone should agree with your opinion. I know, that’s a hard one.
- Get curious about the role you’re playing (victim or hero) decide which role is more empowering.
- Develop a Mindset that is Open and Focused on Solutions (MOFS).
- Be brave and willing to look at yourself; you are the key, and your attitude is part of the solution.
- Look for actions that will help you navigate through the plot twist in your story.
- Become determined to change your relationship to the story you are telling yourself about the situation.
- Explore what the situation has to teach you.
- Life Changing takes a lifetime, be patient, and keep working on yourself.
- And, when you find yourself adrift in the deep waters of life, start swimming!
Let’s work this out!
I am adding a little worksheet below that might help you plot out some of these insights. Take some time to consider. Get radically curious and build into your curiosity the art of self-reflection. This exercise can support your awareness and give you a few more tools for your toolbox.
- Consider writing out whatever the situation is, this is your story.
- By writing it as a story, you can give yourself some perspective and hopefully a little clarity.
- Pay attention to how you are thinking about the situation?
- Notice what were you feeling about the situation?
- How did you behave in the situation?
- What was the outcome?
- Did you like the outcome?
- Was there a place where you got hooked by the experience?
- How would you like to rewrite the story for moving forward?
Here is a Worksheet to help you plot your situation out. What’s Your Story Worksheet.
I would LOVE to hear from YOU!
- What is your hook, or hot button issue that you find yourself spinning out over?
- How effective is your response to it?
All Photo copyright retained by photo owners, everything else ©2014-2022 Lyssa deHart
article originally posted on Dec 2, 2019. Updated April 23, 2023.