In my recent blog, The Truth About Finding “the One,” I bring up an idea which is fundamentally important. What if you are “the One” you need to find first? This then leads to a question that many of us wrestle with regularly, “Who am I?” “How can I be ‘the One,'” “I don’t know how to be my own ‘One’?” I’ve been noodling around with this idea, and I think that to be your own “One” you are going to have to meet yourself in new ways. What if you could create a language to embrace your essence, and that is how you find yourself?
“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” Nikola Tesla
You are electric!
You are pure energy wrapped in a human form. I call this energy your “Energetic Signature.” Every living thing has an energetic signature that is uniquely them. I am going out on a limb here, but I think your energetic signature says a lot about where you are. And the energy that you put out into the world resonates with similar energy.
You’ve met people who carry the energy of anxiety, or anger. You can feel it, even if you can’t name it. When you’re around people who feel good to you, your energy jives, it feels great. Yet, we often don’t have words to describe our own energetic signature. We may be unconscious to the idea that we have an energetic signature, so live life on whatever wavelength we find ourselves surrounded by.
What if you could be more choiceful?
For the moment, let’s agree that we all operate on energetic frequencies. That words have a frequency, vibrational rates if you will. We can see this powerfully demonstrated when we look at how sound impacts salt.
Let’s do an Experiment
Notice how you feel when you say the words like worry, anger, ugly, or terrible. Take a breath and another. Then, say the words love, compassion, empathy, and gratitude. What do you feel within your body as you shift between those sets of words? Your body is a finely tuned instrument for reading the energy in around you. Notice even the most subtle shifts.
If it’s true that we can choose our stories, and I believe we can. What if we can select the energetic signature that we want to align ourselves with? I’ve worked with people who were aligned with pain and fear, through trauma. I have also watched them learn to stand up emotionally and choose the signature of curiosity, hope, balance, and joy. And their lives changing as they do.
Each one of these states of mind has its own vibration. Which state we spend our time in, impacts our connection to ourselves and to our source. That might be God for some, the Universe for others. Every spiritual thing I have read points to love being the answer. What if “Who am I?” is answered right here? You are love. What changes in you when you believe and align yourself with the energy of love?
Rumi Quote: “Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes. If it were always clinched closed or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird’s wings.”
Contracting and Expanding
This idea of contracting and expanding fits with this idea of finding our essential self. We spend a lot of time expanding out into the world. Asking, “What is my why?” “How will I find meaning?” “What am I supposed to do with my life?”
We have many questions that we roll around, and all of them tend to be externally motivated. Yet, what would be possible if we were to begin that exploration inward? Again, starting with “Who am I?”
When I was in my late teens and early 20’s, I went through a stage of depression that was severe. I alternated between being suicidal or being shut down. During this dark time, I wrote a lot of poetry. In one poem, I wrote something to the effect of, “Solar powered pretending. I’m only happy when the sun is out.”
This idea that my joy came from this external source, the sun, was, excuse the pun, illuminating. I had to wait for this external sun to come out and shine on me. Really? That’s what I chose? My happiness was dependent on things beyond my control, so I was doomed. I decided to rewrite that one.
Internal Solar Power
One of the significant transformations I made in my own life was to ask myself, “How do I bring the sun inside of me. I want to be solar powered from the inside out.”
I wanted to have access to my own sun. I needed that, to have a fundamental connection to my core self. I was living a bit of a shit show at the time, and my relationship with myself was one of the few things that no one could take away from me. This exploration was one of a limited number of options I could think of. I was going to have to align myself with new ways of thinking about myself, my situation, and what I was capable of doing.
What if you have full choice about who you are at your core? And you can create a language around that support the energy signature you align with at your center? You have the power to craft a mantra that re-centers you, rebalances you when you find yourself on the tilt-a-whirl. You have the right to name the language of your sun. And, then you have the power to call on it anytime you want.
Maslow talked about a pyramid and at the bottom are your basic needs, and as you move up all the other requirement like safety, belonging, self-esteem are required so that you to make it to the top of the pyramid. Tada! After you navigate the lower levels, you are finally able to be your best self and self-actualized. I think that is one story. I think it is a story that we have accepted because we think it sounds reasonable. I am not sure I even think it’s a true story.
And, consider that most people are operating on this premise. You don’t have to look far. We see all the greed. And, greed comes from this idea that we must have our resources. All of them! Everything we could ever need. Without any willingness to show up from the space of our best self, because guess what, we ain’t there yet. We tell ourselves, “I will do that when I have enough.” Only, we never have enough because, now you have more, and I want that…
What if there is another story? Don’t mind me here, but I want to StoryJack the crap out of this one.
What if we invert the pyramid and we place self-actualization at the bottom of the pyramid? Self-actualization becomes the foundation for everything. My sense of self comes from this deeper self-awareness. I’m being the very best person I can be, in every situation. I choose to act as someone who is self-actualized. My sense of self and esteem grows from this core knowledge that I am, at my shiny center, my best self.
From this space, I choose relationships that feed my soul, which in turn gives me a community of people with whom I resonate. And, from this foundation, I go forward to meet my needs. Ultimately, I go forth into the world and provide something that is meaningful. Not just to me, but to others also. And from this knowledge of my best self, I can explore all my stories. In fact, I can actually create a story that is in alignment with who I want to be as a human being.
I wonder how this approach might improve, say, everything in our lives? Because I think the root of most “stuckness” comes from our wrestling with our disconnect between what we think we are supposed to do, versus what our core self needs us to do.
You are a Spiritual Being Having a Human Experience
There is freedom in recognizing that we are more than this body, experiencing these circumstances. That there will be lessons on this journey that show up as a direct result of what we need to learn. And, that having the touchpoint of knowing yourself, you are better able to pivot and adapt to the ever-changing landscape.
Consider these people who kept their bright spirit, in spite of significant challenges. Jesus, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, to name just a few. They become extraordinary because they chose to hold onto that elemental part of themselves, their internal sun, regardless of the circumstances. They decided to honor their values, be their best self, and maintain a true course through great difficulties. They chose from a place of love and they did it, in spite of the fact, that their basic needs were rarely and barely met. And they did it even though they were often not safe. Can you imagine the world if they had waited till they had all their needs met before they were their best?
Meeting Yourself on the Road
Let’s say, I’m in the middle of some terrible hardship, depending on my perspective, I have choices. I can choose anywhere on the spectrum between victim and hero. Depending on how connected to my core self I am, I might bring forth my strengths and honor my values. Strengths like courage, values like compassion, the ones that support me to grow rather than to shrink. It’s my opportunity to develop as a human being.
Ask yourself, “What is my touchpoint that brings me back to my internal sun?” What language have you pulled together that shifts your vibration from fear to love?
Inspirational + Aspirational + Essential
At inviteCHANGE, the coaching program that I work with, we support coaching students through the process of naming their essence. Crafting a language that they resonate with, that is who they are at their sweet shiny center. And, as they develop that essence statement into something that they use daily to reconnect to themselves. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t touch with love, and sometimes desperation, my essence statement and feel it pull me back to my internal sun.
I am teaching this process in the program, Craft Your Love Story. This program is for anyone, wanting to find a healthy partner OR anyone wanting to become a healthy partner. It would be a useful course for couples trying to decide if they have enough of what they need to be great together for the long haul. And, where they need to align in order to have a better shot at their happily ever after.
You Can Too
You have a beautiful shiny center. The degree that you are connected to it, depends on a lot of factors. What I’ve witnessed, is that once people start to believe in their inherent potential to be the light, they begin to move in that direction. For some the wounds are profound, and I have still seen the most wounded opt for the light. Finding the language of your energetic signature, naming it for yourself, that’s a gift. To no longer wait for others to shine the light on you. No more solar-powered pretending. Your reconnection to yourselves is freedom. This unique touch point, your compass, and a pathway towards living your life with love. And finally answering that question, “Who am I?”
I would LOVE to hear from YOU!
- How do you rebalance and realign yourself when life takes a plot twist and your world is rocked?
- What might shift for you, if you named your internal sun?
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