How many times in your life have you found yourself in the deep and murky waters of life?
How many times have you paddled water in place, hoping that life would change?
Are you ready for something Life Changing?
“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” Every minute of every day you are at a choice point. You can choose to sit and wallow, spinning circles around your concerns, or spiraling around the drain for that matter. Or, you can make another choice, you can decide to start swimming.
Life Changing Super Secrets of the Universe!
In my book StoryJacking: Change Your Inner Dialogue | Transform Your Life, I wrote about the differences between spinning and wallowing versus getting curious and finding new pathways through our predicaments.
Okay, who among us has never wallowed? Who had never spun out about an issue or situation? During this recent US election, and every political election that has happened, roughly half the country is euphoric, and the other half is wheezing about how terrible, awful, and rotten the situation is. No one is immune from the seesaw of emotional responses until you start to notice what you’re doing. You get so attached to your idea of what’s right, that when you don’t win, it can be overwhelming and frustrating. Losing an election, losing an argument, losing anything is a plot twist in a story. Maybe you had gotten attached to a particular ending. If you don’t like the twist, you may spin, or analyze, or obsess, or whatever you wish to call it, and I ask you, “What amount of energy does the spinning cost you?” “Who does that serve?” and “What is helped by your spinning?”
We can extrapolate out from this idea to life in general. Let’s say you just had a plot twist show up in your life from out of nowhere. You find yourself in a disagreement with your boss, your co-worker, your spouse or partner, your parents or your kids. When we dig our heels in and get overly attached to our perspective, we stop listening; we shut down communication, and we close down solutions. If you take the role of victim in the story, you know the one, “This isn’t fair,” “I’m right, you’re wrong,” or “I shouldn’t have to change, you should change,” this is akin to just sitting in the deep water, hoping not to drown. Good luck with that…
Ok, I want Life Changing!
You can navigate the plot twist’s and here are a few steps that can help you transform from spinning to doing something useful:
- Let go of the idea that you are right and everyone should agree with your opinion. I know, that’s a hard one.
- Get curious about the role you’re playing (victim or hero) decide which role is more empowering.
- Develop a Mindset that is Open and Focused on Solutions (MOFS).
- Be brave and willing to look at yourself; you are the key, and your attitude is part of the solution.
- Look for actions that will help you navigate through the plot twist in your story.
- Become determined to change your relationship to the story you are telling yourself about the situation.
- Explore what the situation has to teach you.
- Life Changing takes a lifetime, be patient and keep working on yourself.
- And, when you find yourself adrift in the deep waters of life, start swimming!
Let’s work this out!
I am adding a little worksheet that might help you plot out some of these insights.
- Consider writing out whatever the situation is, this is your story. By writing it as a story, you can give yourself some perspective and hopefully a little clarity.
- What was your thinking about the situation?
- What were you feeling about the situation?
- What did you do?
- What was the outcome?
- Did you like the outcome?
- Where did you get hooked?
- How would you like to rewrite the story for moving forward?
Here is a Worksheet to help you plot your situation out. What’s Your Story Worksheet